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On, February 26, 2020 we held our second annual Comedy Night Fundraiser at the Irvine Improv in Orange County, CA. Over 300 guests attended to support our mission of improving children’s mental health and wellness in a BIG way by generating more than $55K.
Attendees were greeted by dozens of energetic and cheerful volunteers offering “high-fives” for mental health outside the Irvine Spectrum Center, setting the tone for what was to be a super fun and spirited experience during the event. Once inside, guests enjoyed cocktails, appetizers and a fun display of over 75 silent auction items. Donations for the auction were received by the Anaheim Ducks, Tillys, South Coast Plaza, Morton’s Steakhouse, Milari Jewelry, Dublin4, The Cheesecake Factory, Irvine Spectrum Marriott, Oak Grill Aqua Lounge, Cycle Bar and many other health and wellness related items. ELF Founder and CEO, Mara James, greeted the enthusiastic crowd and introduced the hilarious event host, comedian Francis Dilorinzo. The program began with multiple children’s performances by Center Stage Studio. Mental health advocate Adrienne Matros and Mimi Kahn with Families Forward shared background while Tamara Johnston gave an emotional parent testimonial that involved bullying and death threats toward her three-year daughter at school. Singer Kim Gubner then performed the inspiring Piggie Bear song, “You are Amazing!” Attendees joined in the Piggie Bear’s “I am Amazing!” chorus by singing; You are amazing, I am amazing, We are amazing, Exactly as we are! Featured comedians Eric Deskin, Julie Kidd and headliner Andrew Norelli delighted attendees with three very entertaining comedy skits. The evening concluded with a lively Empower-a-Child Campaign and closing remarks by Dilorinzo. Mara was ecstatic with the turn out and proceeds saying, “I am extremely grateful for all supporters, volunteers and major sponsors including Tilly’s Life Center, Reproductive Fertility Center, Maternal-Fetal Medicine, Adrienne & Rick Matros, Laguna Beach OBGYN, Inc. and Each Mind Matters. We truly could not have succeeded without your support!” Event proceeds will be used to purchase and donate “The Power of Piggie Bear” book and the Piggie Bear plush to organizations including CHOC Children’s Hospital, Human Options, Laura’s House, The Family Care Center Shelter (Mercy House) and to children in foster and military families. Our team was particularly grateful to host the event just before the health pandemic hit. We didn’t realize at the time that our programs would later help children manage their fear and anxiety through these very unusual, uncertain and challenging times. Mara created and wrote "The Power of Piggie Bear," ELF’s first therapeutic tool to improve the mental health and wellness of young children by developing their emotional intelligence. The Piggie Bear character teaches children self-care techniques for dealing effectively with their emotions. According to Adrienne Matros, Psy.D, “Piggie Bear is an adorable character that helps teach young children that we are all unique. Piggie Bear identifies and encourages acceptance of a range of emotions as well as demonstrates ways to breathe and express those emotions. Every child should have a Piggie Bear to love.” In addition to the Comedy Night Fundraiser, ELF has hosted awareness events at Major League Baseball stadiums during May, Mental Health Awareness Month. Starting locally at Angel Stadium in Anaheim and Petco Park in San Diego, ELF expanded nationally and organized similar events at Yankees Stadium in New York and SunTrust Park in Atlanta. About Extraordinary Lives Foundation Our mission is to promote children’s mental health and wellness and support families by providing awareness, education, and resources. We encourage families to recognize symptoms, overcome the stigma and reach out for help. Through prevention, early intervention and holistic treatment, we believe many of the big problems facing today’s youth can be transformed within a generation.  We Fear Odd & Abnormal Behavior
Jul 9th, 2019 by Kenneth James M.D If we are honest, most of us initially feel awkward and anxious when confronted with odd and abnormal behavior. You would think doctors would feel differently, but Kenneth James M.D. candidly admits that he found interaction with psychiatric patients uncomfortable and fear inducing. Dr. James is a board certified Obstetrician and Gynecologist who is married to Mara James, the founder of the Extraordinary Lives Foundation and sits on the Advisory Board. He expresses his fears and feelings on mental health and recounts how experiencing his wife’s personal struggle has made him more understanding and compassionate. “May is Mental Health Awareness month. Five years ago this month my life turned upside down. When I was in medical school, I spent 2 months doing a psychiatric rotation at a V.A. Hospital. This was a requirement. I had no interest in psychiatry and honestly never even thought about mental health disorders before medical school, especially during the first 2 years of school. Sure, I learned about the disorders, neurological pathways, possible causes and pharmacologic treatments but I thought of it as a fiction novel not real disorders that happen to real people. My rotation was during a frigid winter at the V.A. Hospital in Chicago. We were introduced to the in-patient ward staff, instructed on areas to go to and avoid and then assigned our patients to follow. I remember sitting in my first interview with an inpatient. When I arrived at the physician’s consultation room, the patient was already there sitting opposite the doctor. The patient had schizophrenia and was heavily medicated. He seemed harmless, cooperative and sedated. The session lasted 30 minutes with lots of questions about his medical progress, relationship with other patients, satisfaction with his accommodations and goals to accomplish. When we were done, I stood up to say goodbye and open the door for him. When he stood up, I realized he was over 6 feet 10 inches tall and towered over me like a giant. I immediately went into fight or flight mode. I started sweating, was anxious, nervous, fearful and terrified all at the same time. I felt threatened that he was going to lash out at me. There was no basis for this fear. This was a fantasy I immediately fabricated in my mind from watching too many horror movies in the 70’s. He politely grunted goodbye and was escorted back to the common area by a hospital orderly. It was at this exact moment that I realized I would either fear these patients or learn compassion. I chose fear. As the rotation continued, I found myself (and my fellow students) spending more time in the V.A. gymnasium playing basketball than seeing patients. We would study diseases and treatments over breakfast, then play hoops for 2 hours, then lunch and home. I knew the names of all the diseases, symptoms, possible causes and treatment options; I just couldn’t put a face to each disorder because I was afraid of being with people who were psychologically different, diseased or afflicted. Bipolar, schizophrenia, multiple personality disorders and PTSD were cool to talk about and learn the medications that control the symptoms, but to see a person express these disorders live frightened me. Therefore, I avoided patient care for the remainder of my rotation. Sad, but true. My experience in medical school, where it was a requirement to see and interact with psychiatric patients is not that different from any of us who interact with friends, family, neighbors, work mates or strangers who have similar emotional or diagnosed psychiatric conditions. At first it is frightening and uncomfortable. How can someone be there physically but not there mentally or emotionally? It takes time to adjust to and tolerate people with mania, narcissism, or dissociative behavior and to see the real person underneath the disorder. In May of 2014, my wife Mara of over 20 years experienced a manic episode. Looking back, I should have seen it coming like a dark rain cloud before the storm but mostly I just accepted her increasingly bizarre behavior as eccentric. She always had a type A, outgoing and friendly personality. She has always had a lot of friends, been extremely cordial to everyone and made everyone in her presence feel loved and wanted. As her mania slowly progressed, I noticed that many of her friends were not around. Maybe they were growing weary of her changing personality and possibly frightened by her overly talkative behavior and odd mannerisms. Her obsessions with objects, people, and certain situations were bordering on psychiatric and then BAM! I was away the weekend of May 23, 2014 with my parents and brother at a retreat in Colorado. It was one of the few times I had gone away without her. The first night I was gone, she reached the pinnacle of her disease and by the next day I was on a plane home. At 8 pm we embraced. I didn’t want to let her go because I would then have to make some very difficult decisions. With the help of a dear friend who is a psychologist, we decided that she should see her psychologist and a psychiatrist the next day and we would hopefully be able to keep her from being admitted to an inpatient setting. Luckily, with the help of her providers, she was started on medication and started to heal. Over the next 6 months she underwent her own type of transformation. As she proclaims: ‘I went from medication to meditation’. She finished a short course of medications and therapy and then started alternative treatments. Between hypnotherapy, crystals, shamans, yoga, meditation and religious counseling she was transformed. She is back and better than ever! Mara took her experience and decided to help others. She started a mental health awareness foundation called Extraordinary Lives Foundation (ELF) in 2016. The mission of the foundation is to raise awareness around mental health issues concentrating on children and adolescent youth. Her belief is that mental health issues begin in adolescence and worsen over time if not recognized and treated. She has run several awareness events in our community and around the country and is currently promoting awareness at several Major League baseball stadiums throughout the nation. ELF volunteers get people actively involved in spreading the word that May is mental health awareness month by hi-fiving everyone admitted to the stadium with large foam hands. I remember the first game we attended down with the San Diego Padres. The volunteers were nervous and anxious about how to spread the word. I picked up 2 large foam hands and just started hi-fiving everyone I saw. This became contagious. At the Angels game 2 weeks later, I counted over 10, 000 fans I slapped hands with and over a dozen who made contributions to our foundation. Last year we went to Atlanta and New York and this year Mara is hitting all 5 California Major League stadiums and a minor league stadium in Sacramento. Eventually the goal is to make May as visible as October is for Breast Cancer awareness. Imagine an annual mental health awareness day at every stadium where players dress in green to represent mental health. Wouldn’t that be amazing? Mara has attended several city council committee meetings all over Orange County. Through her efforts several cities have declared May as National Mental Health Awareness Month. This is another step towards helping people recognize that the mental health of the nation is a national emergency and that funding is vitally needed to give sufferers the help they need. Mara has written and self-published a children’s book: The Power of Piggie Bear. This is a wonderful, fun and informative book which teaches children (and adults) how to recognize their emotions and then how to control them through 2 simple exercises. First: deep belly breathing (yoga style) and second: a self-hug releasing natural good feeling chemicals through your body. This really works. Like exercise, if you do it every day, you will see a difference. Mara has donated books to all our local elementary and middle schools. As you can tell, this is a very personal and important topic for me. I encourage an open dialog with my patients andI discuss and offer help when needed. recommend therapy with psychologists, psychiatrists, hypnotherapists, alternative healers, clergy: anyone or any approach that they choose. Many of my patients are surprised when I ask about multiple alternative topics to routine obstetrics and gynecology. Topics including family life, sex, work and of course their own well emotional well-being. If you don’t ask , you will not know and if you don’t know, you can never help guide others to heal. Please speak out. Ask for help. Recognize that others are suffering and offer help. This is our obligation as both healers and human beings. “  The Need For Electronic Curfews
Jun 17th, 2019 by Jane NobleA new study in the journal Child Development shows that nighttime use of a cell phone can increase anxiety and depression in teenagers and reduce their self esteem. Although as a parent you may have suspected this, this is the first study that shows a direct link between screen time and mental health. Rates of depression in teenagers have risen over 70% in the last two decades and even in Orange County we have seen a disconcerting number of suicides by young people. Sleep is essential for children and teenagers who need 9 hours of sleep per night. Yes - 9 hours. Very difficult to achieve given the early school start times, homework and after school activities and the pressure to achieve and excel. Layer on top of that the fact that, as this new study demonstrates, screen time before bed can seriously disrupt sleep patterns and it is likely that most teenagers are sleep deprived. Lack of sleep can lead to depression, emotional fragility and acting out. The study shows that even if kids are having a great time on their phone, if it disrupts their sleep pattern, then it causes harm. So how can we as parents make sure that our children are not using their phones just before sleep? A difficult proposition given that 50% of teenagers report feeling addicted to their phones and reasoning with teenagers is never easy. Psychologist Lisa Damour offers some practical solutions that offer a starting point. 1. Setting phone boundaries while your children are still young will help with the battle as they get older. Establish good family habits and be a good role model to your children. It is no use telling your children to turn off their phones and limit usage if you as a parent are overusing yours. 2. Set a central location in the home where all the phones are charged. It may have to be in the parents’ bedroom so your teenagers can’t access their phones after a certain time, though it is not ideal to have any electronic devices in the sleep area. 3. At the risk of being really unpopular, a digital curfew is essential. Make the curfew universal for everyone in the household. Like most habits, it takes time to establish them, but then they become the norm. 4. Explain to your teenager that it is your duty as a parent to protect them in the same way as you insist they put on a seat belt before driving in the car, or wearing a helmet while riding a bike. 5. Make sure that technology and social media do not interfere with the things that promote good health: sleep (9+ hours), personal interaction, physical activity, opportunities to learn and grow.  Paid Family Leave Could Help Future Generations Thrive
May 19th, 2019 by Jane Noble The first few months of a child’s life can have an influence on its future mental health. The baby/mother bond begins as soon as the embryo starts to develop in the womb. The baby experiences life through the mama, hearing the sounds of her body and the steady beat of her heart. By about 26 weeks, the baby starts to react to noises outside the mother’s body and may be soothed by her voice. Fathers and siblings may start the bonding process in many simple ways - talking and singing to the baby, massaging the mother’s belly, feeling the baby kicking. But there is nothing quite like the moment when the baby enters the world and becomes a tangible part of the family. The first few weeks and months of a newborn’s life are crucial and can have an influence on the child’s future mental wellbeing. Too often parents do not have have enough time to fully bond and adjust to life with their new addition before having to go back to work. On May 16, 2019, Governor Gavin Newsom convened a Paid Family Leave Task Force for their first in a series of meetings. The Task Force is intended to design a policy and funding roadmap to achieving the Governor’s vision for providing all California newborns with six months of bonding time with their parents. Erin Gabel, Deputy Director of External and Governmental Affairs for First 5 California, was appointed to the newly-established Paid Family Leave Task Force. Erin sees Paid Family Leave during those vitally important first months of a baby’s life, as a developmental necessity. Governor Newsom has appointed a diverse group of representatives from across the state, including members of the business, legal, policy, science, and early learning communities, to put their collective expertise together and design real options to meet the family leave needs of newborns, employers, employees, and their families. The Governor’s goal is to leverage Paid Family Leave to reap greater lifetime benefits for all. The Task Force will examine California’s nation-leading Paid Family Leave Program and develop options to increase leave access, provide better job protections, and to expand the length of coverage for California’s workers. Studies have shown that paid family leave allows parents and caregivers to bond with their newborns, and set our littlest community members on a course for better health and greater success in life. “Having a Governor who understands the brain science and how Paid Family Leave plays a role in allowing parents the precious time to Talk. Read. Sing. ®with their babies, is a once in a lifetime opportunity,” said Ms. Gabel. “Children and families thriving will help lift all of Californians.” The Task Force is due to provide its recommendations to the Governor by the end of 2019.  Let Laughter Shed Light
Mar 14th, 2019 by Jane NobleOn Wednesday, February 27, 2019, laughter rang around the Irvine Improv at our first annual Comedy Night entitled Let Laughter Shed Light. Mental illness is no laughing matter, yet love and laughter enable us all to cope better with what life throws at us. There was a wonderful sense of camaraderie at the event and a true feeling that we are all in this together. The fun started with guests being enthusiastically greeted by a life size Piggie Bear and volunteers dressed in black with a touch of green to represent mental health. Barely a person passed up the opportunity to pose for a photo with Piggie Bear. Silent Auction Once inside, there was a buzz of activity and anticipation as guests perused the many fabulous items on offer in the Silent Auction. There were gifts certificates for yoga, gym memberships, restaurants, the Lakers, singing lessons, golf lessons and massage, as well as for the many wonderful healers that ELF is connected to. The tables were laden with stunning fine jewelry, bubbly and bath products, perfumes, Scotch & chocs to name but a few. The Pre-show Young performers from the Center Stage Studio warmed up the audience as they shared their talent for singing and dancing in lively routines. Joe Grande, master of ceremonies extraordinaire kept the pace moving with his own inimitable style and good humor. The Comedians Stand up comedy is not an easy discipline but these professionals had the audience eating out of their hands. First up was Mary Kennedy, best known for “New Fiona” on Shameless, Conan and being a regular at the Laugh Factory in Los Angeles. Mary is hilariously self deprecating as she made fun of her post baby body and had every woman in the room nodding helplessly in agreement. Eric Deskin has an edgy, observant brand of humor and the audience lapped up his East Coast take on California. At one point in his life Eric was a lawyer and while rumors of his disbarment have been grossly exaggerated, he advised the audience to ask him for legal advice at their own peril! Francis DiLorenzo is tall and slender and a magnificent physical comedienne. The laughter built as she told tales of dating shorter men. My personal favorite was her impersonation of her 6’3” son and his similarity to an air filled dancing balloon man. Hilarious! You can see why next up Justine Marino was selected as the New Face of Comedy at Montreal’s prestigious Just for Laughs Festival and laugh we did. Who else do you know who fantasizes about having a Jurassic Park wedding? “I dino…” To close out the evening Sam Fedele made sure that our jaws ached from laughing. Sam developed his high-energy style of comedy growing up in the mean streets of New Jersey. He spent six years honing his skills in the United States Marine Corps, after which neither Sam nor the Marine Corps would ever be the same again. ELF sends out a huge thank you to all the fabulous entertainers for sharing their talents and shedding light on mental health. The entertainers, guests and volunteers made the evening a spectacular success. He expresses his fears and feelings on mental health and recounts how experiencing his wife’s personal struggle has made him more understanding and compassionate. “May is Mental Health Awareness month. Five years ago this month my life turned upside down. When I was in medical school, I spent 2 months doing a psychiatric rotation at a V.A. Hospital. This was a requirement. I had no interest in psychiatry and honestly never even thought about mental health disorders before medical school, especially during the first 2 years of school. Sure, I learned about the disorders, neurological pathways, possible causes and pharmacologic treatments but I thought of it as a fiction novel not real disorders that happen to real people. My rotation was during a frigid winter at the V.A. Hospital in Chicago. We were introduced to the in-patient ward staff, instructed on areas to go to and avoid and then assigned our patients to follow. I remember sitting in my first interview with an inpatient. When I arrived at the physician’s consultation room, the patient was already there sitting opposite the doctor. The patient had schizophrenia and was heavily medicated. He seemed harmless, cooperative and sedated. The session lasted 30 minutes with lots of questions about his medical progress, relationship with other patients, satisfaction with his accommodations and goals to accomplish. When we were done, I stood up to say goodbye and open the door for him. When he stood up, I realized he was over 6 feet 10 inches tall and towered over me like a giant. I immediately went into fight or flight mode. I started sweating, was anxious, nervous, fearful and terrified all at the same time. I felt threatened that he was going to lash out at me. There was no basis for this fear. This was a fantasy I immediately fabricated in my mind from watching too many horror movies in the 70’s. He politely grunted goodbye and was escorted back to the common area by a hospital orderly. It was at this exact moment that I realized I would either fear these patients or learn compassion. I chose fear. As the rotation continued, I found myself (and my fellow students) spending more time in the V.A. gymnasium playing basketball than seeing patients. We would study diseases and treatments over breakfast, then play hoops for 2 hours, then lunch and home. I knew the names of all the diseases, symptoms, possible causes and treatment options; I just couldn’t put a face to each disorder because I was afraid of being with people who were psychologically different, diseased or afflicted. Bipolar, schizophrenia, multiple personality disorders and PTSD were cool to talk about and learn the medications that control the symptoms, but to see a person express these disorders live frightened me. Therefore, I avoided patient care for the remainder of my rotation. Sad, but true. My experience in medical school, where it was a requirement to see and interact with psychiatric patients is not that different from any of us who interact with friends, family, neighbors, work mates or strangers who have similar emotional or diagnosed psychiatric conditions. At first it is frightening and uncomfortable. How can someone be there physically but not there mentally or emotionally? It takes time to adjust to and tolerate people with mania, narcissism, or dissociative behavior and to see the real person underneath the disorder. In May of 2014, my wife Mara of over 20 years experienced a manic episode. Looking back, I should have seen it coming like a dark rain cloud before the storm but mostly I just accepted her increasingly bizarre behavior as eccentric. She always had a type A, outgoing and friendly personality. She has always had a lot of friends, been extremely cordial to everyone and made everyone in her presence feel loved and wanted. As her mania slowly progressed, I noticed that many of her friends were not around. Maybe they were growing weary of her changing personality and possibly frightened by her overly talkative behavior and odd mannerisms. Her obsessions with objects, people, and certain situations were bordering on psychiatric and then BAM! I was away the weekend of May 23, 2014 with my parents and brother at a retreat in Colorado. It was one of the few times I had gone away without her. The first night I was gone, she reached the pinnacle of her disease and by the next day I was on a plane home. At 8 pm we embraced. I didn’t want to let her go because I would then have to make some very difficult decisions. With the help of a dear friend who is a psychologist, we decided that she should see her psychologist and a psychiatrist the next day and we would hopefully be able to keep her from being admitted to an inpatient setting. Luckily, with the help of her providers, she was started on medication and started to heal. Over the next 6 months she underwent her own type of transformation. As she proclaims: ‘I went from medication to meditation’. She finished a short course of medications and therapy and then started alternative treatments. Between hypnotherapy, crystals, shamans, yoga, meditation and religious counseling she was transformed. She is back and better than ever! Mara took her experience and decided to help others. She started a mental health awareness foundation called Extraordinary Lives Foundation (ELF) in 2016. The mission of the foundation is to raise awareness around mental health issues concentrating on children and adolescent youth. Her belief is that mental health issues begin in adolescence and worsen over time if not recognized and treated. She has run several awareness events in our community and around the country and is currently promoting awareness at several Major League baseball stadiums throughout the nation. ELF volunteers get people actively involved in spreading the word that May is mental health awareness month by hi-fiving everyone admitted to the stadium with large foam hands. I remember the first game we attended down with the San Diego Padres. The volunteers were nervous and anxious about how to spread the word. I picked up 2 large foam hands and just started hi-fiving everyone I saw. This became contagious. At the Angels game 2 weeks later, I counted over 10, 000 fans I slapped hands with and over a dozen who made contributions to our foundation. Last year we went to Atlanta and New York and this year Mara is hitting all 5 California Major League stadiums and a minor league stadium in Sacramento. Eventually the goal is to make May as visible as October is for Breast Cancer awareness. Imagine an annual mental health awareness day at every stadium where players dress in green to represent mental health. Wouldn’t that be amazing? Mara has attended several city council committee meetings all over Orange County. Through her efforts several cities have declared May as National Mental Health Awareness Month. This is another step towards helping people recognize that the mental health of the nation is a national emergency and that funding is vitally needed to give sufferers the help they need. Mara has written and self-published a children’s book: The Power of Piggie Bear. This is a wonderful, fun and informative book which teaches children (and adults) how to recognize their emotions and then how to control them through 2 simple exercises. First: deep belly breathing (yoga style) and second: a self-hug releasing natural good feeling chemicals through your body. This really works. Like exercise, if you do it every day, you will see a difference. Mara has donated books to all our local elementary and middle schools. As you can tell, this is a very personal and important topic for me. I encourage an open dialog with my patients andI discuss and offer help when needed. recommend therapy with psychologists, psychiatrists, hypnotherapists, alternative healers, clergy: anyone or any approach that they choose. Many of my patients are surprised when I ask about multiple alternative topics to routine obstetrics and gynecology. Topics including family life, sex, work and of course their own well emotional well-being. If you don’t ask , you will not know and if you don’t know, you can never help guide others to heal. Please speak out. Ask for help. Recognize that others are suffering and offer help. This is our obligation as both healers and human beings. “  Staying Sane During The Holidays
Dec 11th, 2018 by Jane Noble The Foundation is delighted that CBS News turned to ELF founder, Mara James, to share some tips and advice on how to navigate the holiday season. It is not easy staying sane during the holiday period. It becomes even more difficult for people who have mental health issues. What should be a joyful and exciting time can easily become stressful and filled with anxiety. Piggie Bear was created to help children manage their emotions, yet we as adults can also benefit from Piggie Bear’s teachings. Emotions can be calmed and controlled through deep, belly breathing. If you feel your emotions racing out of control, just take yourself to a quiet place and breathe deeply for 5 minutes. For anyone feel a little sad and lonely, Piggie Bear teaches us to love ourselves and give ourselves a huge hug. Holding that hug can release oxytocin which helps fight off depression. As parents it is important to remember that children are like sponges when it comes to absorbing other people’s emotions. The calmer and happier the parents are, the calmer and more contented the children. Mara reminds everyone that it is more important to spend quality time with family and friends. If sending holiday cards is causing anxiety, then don’t send then. Simplify your life and focus on what is most important.  Heads Together: The Duke Of Cambridge Launches 'Mental Health At Work'
Sep 11th, 2018 by Jane Noble In partnership with the mental health charity, Mind, Heads Together and The Royal Foundation have launched a new online platform, Mental Health at Work, which brings together a wealth of resources, training and information to help people make their life better at work - for themselves, and for their colleagues. No matter the size of your workplace, and no matter where you work, mental health is essential to our daily well being. Mental Health at Work aims to change the way the workplace approaches mental health and eliminate the stigma that accompanies admitting all is not well. It is fantastic that The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, and The Duke of Sussex are highlighting this important subject. Taking care of mental health at work makes sound business sense. It means taking care of a company’s most valuable asset - people - so that they are happy and perform at their best. Having motivated employees is a win-win for employers and customers. It is important to be observant as to how people express their stress and then have sensitive conversations and take appropriate action to ease the situation without fear of discrimination.  CHOC and ELF Go For A Home Run
May 20th, 2018 by Jane NobleIt is always so satisfying when you plan for months for an event and it all turns out so well on the day. Many months ago, CHOC Children’s decided to collaborate with ELF to highlight May as Mental Health Awareness Month at the Twins v. Angels game that took place last Saturday evening, May 12 at Angel Stadium. ELF is thrilled that CHOC is leading the way in recognizing that children’s mental health is as important as their physical health. There is no health without mental health. The day before the game, the wind was whipping up, clouds were hurrying across the sky and much needed rain was watering our gardens. Great, but not what you want for an outdoor event! Saturday could not have been better. The sun shone, families smiled and children laughed. Before the game, it was Angels Fiesta time in the parking lot under the Big A, with mariachi bands sending out strains of salsa that your hips couldn’t resist swaying to. ELF committee members and representatives from CHOC set up shop under a turquoise E-Z Up to welcome guests. Some supporters had purchased their tickets. Other tickets were donated to families at-risk. The message from everyone was as loud and clear as the bright green of our T shirts and sponge hands that popped against the red of the Angels’ fans. High Five for Mental Health! Away with the stigma! We are all in this together! Everyone was having fun high fiving anyone who crossed their path. The event took place on the day before Mother’s Day and it was wonderful to see so many families with young children and teenagers at the game. You could spot the ELF/CHOC squad from anywhere in the stadium, neon shirts and hats aglow. The only thing that would have improved the evening was a win by the Angels who unfortunately lost to the Minnesota Twins 5:3 in the 12th.  ELF Goes National!
May 16th, 2018 by Mara JamesWow! It is hard to believe that this is our second year hosting Mental Health Awareness Events at MLB stadiums and we have already gone national! This was not part of the original plan but when I received notification of a suicide in New York and another one in Atlanta, I felt compelled to take action. I have family and friends in both locations so knew we could make something happen. I got on the phone with the NY Yankees and Atlanta Braves and they were both on board with helping up host an event. We were at SunTrust Park on May 4th and Yankee Stadium on May 6. The energy at both stadiums was amazing! There were only 50 of us at each game, but our enthusiasm made up for numbers and I know that we made a BIG impact in bringing awareness to May as National Mental Health Awareness Month. You couldn’t miss us with with our large, fun sponge hands along with our neon green ELF hats. I owe my hubby a big thank you for all of his support in my endeavors and for being the BEST high-fiver I could ever ask for. I would also like to thank our sponsors and my friends for donating to my birthday fundraiser which paid for at-risk children and their families to attend our events.  WOW The Wonder Of Women
May 8th, 2018 by Jane Noble WOW is the perfect acronym for The Wonder of Women Summit that was held on May 2, 2018 in Los Angeles on the UCLA campus. WOW seemed the perfect response when looking at some of the most successful and influential women of our time coming together to unite in their common goal of promoting a better understanding, awareness and treatment of mental illness in our society. There was a huge amount of talent in one place with featured speakers including Tipper Gore, Lisa Kudrow, Goldie Hawn, Candice Bergen, Dr. Robin Berman, Susan Bookheimer Ph.D., Poppy Jamie and psychic medium Amanda Daniels to name just a few. The full speaker list and more details about the event can be found at https://www.semel.ucla.edu/wow/ Mara James, founder of ELF had the opportunity to chat with Tipper Gore about their common commitment to changing lives for the better. Tipper is a tireless advocate for homelessness and issues of mental health. She is committed to eradicating the stigma and educating Americans on the need for quality, affordable mental health care. During her husband’s tenure as Vice President, she served as the Mental Health Policy Advisor to President Clinton. A genuine trailblazer, Tipper chaired the first White House Conference on Mental Health in 1999 that interactively involved tens of thousands of Americans across the country. She is innovative and courageous, always seeking new ways to raise awareness and promote action. What was so inspiring about the conference was the powerful message that the way we we approach mental health has to change and the determination of these extraordinary women to make it happen.  Google Values Emotional Intelligence
March 27th, 2018 by Jane Noble At ELF we believe wholeheartedly in the need to develop the Emotional Intelligence of young children. Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. Children who are emotionally intelligent are able to: recognize their own emotions and those of others discern between different feelings and name them appropriately use emotional information to guide thinking, problem solving and behavior to be able to manage their emotions and adapt to changing environments. Traits of people who have well developed high emotional intelligence include: being positive.choosing to be friends with other positive people.setting healthy boundaries.being assertive when necessary not dwelling on the past.knowing how to enjoy the moment and deal with disappointments describing themselves as happy.empathizing with others.knowing when to say yes or no in situations These are all qualities that can help children become confident, discerning and socially strong. When you teach children emotional intelligence, how to recognize their feelings, understand where they come from and learn how to deal with them, you teach them one of the most essential skills for their success in life. Research has shown that Emotional Intelligence predicts over 54% of the variation in success for relationships, effectiveness, health and quality of life. Additional data concludes that young people with high EQ earn higher grades, stay in school and make healthier choices. Google it appears also looks for people with well developed emotional intelligence in its hiring process. High test results in STEM subjects (Science, Technology, Engineering & Math) are not enough on their own.Google wants to know if potential employees are able to connect with others, recognize other people’s thoughts and feelings, read situations and people and respond accordingly. The Washington Post recently reported that: “The seven top characteristics of success at Google are all soft skills: being a good coach; communicating and listening well; possessing insights into others (including others different values and points of view); having empathy toward and being supportive of one’s colleagues; being a good critical thinker and problem solver; and being able to make connections across complex ideas.” By developing Emotional Intelligence in children at a young age, we can set them on a path to success in all aspects of their lives. Piggie Bear. ELF’s first therapeutic tool, can teach even very young children how to love and accept themselves as they are and not judge others, how to recognize emotions and be empathetic and provide strategies for dealing with emotions before they spiral out of control. It is time for schools to also recognize the importance of these so called “soft skills” that are not easy to develop and are currently being neglected.  Voyage LA Selects Mara's Inspiring Story
Jan 21st, 2018 by Jane NobleWe are so proud of our founder, Mara James, for being selected as one of Voyage LA’s inspiring stories for Orange County. The heart of the mission of Voyage LA is to find the amazing souls who breathe life into their community. Mara is described as a rising star and yet her only aim is to change the way we view mental health and help families and children in need. In a mere 2 years since founding ELF, Mara has achieved so much through her sheer strength and determination. 2018 is the year that “The Power of Piggie Bear” will be distributed in Orange County as a result of grants awarded to ELF. “The Power of Piggie Bear” is a therapeutic tool for children that helps increase their EQ (Emotional Intelligence) and their capacity for compassion and self-love. Thanks to the generosity of an amazing group of women known as 100 Women Who Care, Orange County, we will be donating copies of the book to CHOC Children’s and Mission Hospital’s Camino Health Center, which serves the under privileged, high risk population. Read the full interview over at Voyage LA.  Flexible Seating Allows Room To Wiggle
Jan 12th, 2018 by Jane NobleHow many children do you know who like to sit still? Not many I should think. Children are bundles of energy who like to move around and flit from idea to idea and activity to activity. It is difficult for most children to remain seated for any length of time, so imagine how much more difficult it is for a child with ADHD? Wiggle, Stretch, SprawlAs reported in the OC Register on October 15, 2017, a new seating style is spreading across Orange County schools that is giving children the freedom to wiggle, stretch, sprawl and lie on the floor, depending on their mood and the activity they are doing. This flexible seating takes the form of bouncy balls, low chairs, yoga mats, adjustable desks, floor cushions, beanbags and wobble-friendly stools. Teachers are reporting that this flexibility is having a positive impact on children’s ability to focus. Educators are Seeing BenefitsTim Green, professor of elementary and bilingual education at Cal State Fullerton, said the popularity of flexible seating has surged in recent years owing to positive results for students and a fluid nature that complements the modern classroom. Physical education is being cut out in many elementary schools and children need to move. The classroom is no longer a rigid, teacher centered place as it once used to be. Many teachers are so keen on having flexible seating that they are initiating fundraising efforts themselves. Helping Students with Attention Deficit DisordersWhen I taught gifted children in Vancouver, though very brilliant in a variety of subjects, many of them had difficulty focussing. We used to put elastic sports bands around the legs of the chairs so the children could bounce their legs of them to release energy. Laurel Elementary School in the Brea Olinda USD was fitted with flexible seating in all the classrooms last year. Heather Bojorquez, the Principal said giving students the freedom to sit how they want to has made a big difference for more fidgety students and those with attention deficit disorders. Students who would normally lose focus fidgeting in a stiff desk can now wiggle on a wobbly stool, dangle their legs from an elevated chair or bounce on a ball, naturally working out their excess energy while staying focused on the work in front of them. Although classroom management may be a bit more challenging, many teachers are embracing the idea as they see improved work output and concentration. What the Children ThinkGavin at Glenknoll Elementary in Yorba Linda says that being able to wiggle around has helped him in subjects he once struggled in. Matthias from Laurel Elementary loves the cube chair because it is squishy and bouncy! I remember always being told to sit up straight when I was at school and sprawling on the desk was a definite no-no. But if work is being done and progress achieved, then it really doesn’t matter whether you are standing, sprawling, bouncing or sitting cross legged under a desk. With flexible seating, you will not hear a teacher asking children to sit up straight because there is no right way to sit.  3 Beneficial Effects of Yoga for Children
Jan 10th, 2018 by Jane Noble Child’s pose. What a perfect name for it! We all need to stay connected to our inner child! Yoga is becoming more popular and attracts more people every day. Yoga can offer great benefits to children and can be an antidote to our fast paced, technology driven world. Children today have to deal with so many distractions and so much stimulation in their daily lives, which is even more stressful for a sensitive child. Yoga can help them stay centered and focused 1. Deep Belly Breathing: Helps Control EmotionsYoga teaches children deep belly breathing which encourages relaxation. Deep belly breathing can help children control their emotions when they become overwhelming. Short, shallow breaths can cause hyperventilation and make feelings of anxiety and anger worse. Deep belly breathing can help create an internal feeling of calm. 2. Meditation & Balancing: The very nature of yoga is meditative. Holding postures, sitting with eyes closed or moving through poses has a soothing and calming quality and helps children to be in the moment. Balance requires concentration and focus. When attention wanders, we wobble! Poses promote stillness and quieting of the mind and body. 3. Stretching & Strength: Yoga is deceptive in the strength that it requires. It seems so easy to simply sit in a position for a few minutes! Yoga stretches the muscles, increases flexibility and also builds body strength. Good core strength helps children sit up straight, carry heavy loads like their backpacks loaded with homework and breathe better.  Piggie Bear Has The Power To Empower Our Children
Oct 31st, 2017 by Jane NobleMara James, the founder and CEO of ELF, knows exactly what it feels like when feelings and emotions are out of control. Mara was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in May 2014 and began a somewhat scary yet incredible journey into the murky world of mental health. The manic thoughts that were racing around in Mara’s head have now been transformed into a clear vision of what needs to be done to help others with mental health challenges, particularly children. A Child At HeartThose of you who have met Mara know that she is a child at heart, with a youthful spirit and playful, enthusiastic energy. During her manic episode she felt driven to write and could not bear to be parted from a pink cuddly pig. When someone commented that it looked more like a bear, that was the spark that inspired her to write a children’s book and create a friend for them called Piggie Bear. Enhances Coping Skills Cuddly and cute though Piggie Bear is, she is far more than that! Piggie Bear can be a lifeline for young children who are experiencing overwhelming emotions, anxiety, stress and depression. Terri James PH.D, a clinical psychologist says: “This story can help children enhance their coping skills in a fun and loving way.” There is nothing preachy about the book and it provides very simple, practical tools that children can use to calm and comfort themselves. It’s OK to Be DifferentThe fact that Piggie Bear is neither pig nor bear immediately conveys the message that it is OK to be different and to love yourself just the way you are. Children are very sensitive and astute. They are like sponges with mega antennae that pick up signals and ideas from everyone around them. The more positive reinforcement they hear and receive during their earliest years, the better they will be able to cope with the natural challenges of life that lie ahead. Piggie Bear tells children they are amazing and perfect just the way they are. This is a very empowering statement and something we all need to hear and believe every single day. Mindful Breathing Provides Children with a Practical Tool There are some days, however, when children may not feel amazing. Children do not understand why they feel worried or frustrated or sad and can feel overwhelmed and out of control. Piggie Bear puts a name to these emotions and shows children how to breathe deeply and mindfully, slowly filling the belly with air and exhaling through the mouth, in order to induce a feeling of calm. One of the first things someone usually says to a person who is getting agitated or angry or emotional is - just breathe. However, breathing into the top part of the chest rather than the belly can actually increase anxiety. Mindful breathing helps everyone feel more at peace and has been shown to increase motivation and attention. Yoga has become hugely popular in the US, particularly in California. Many young mothers do yoga on a regular basis but I wonder how many have thought to pass on what they are learning to their children? Some Tender Loving CareWe all want and need to feel loved. Imagine being able to give yourself some self love to boost confidence and release feelings of wellbeing any time of the day or night. Piggie Bear teaches a big self hug to create warm, fuzzy feelings inside. Something as simple a giving oneself a hug has been shown to release oxytocin, known as the love hormone, and be an antidote to depressive feelings. Practice Makes Perfect Studies show that the brain is strengthened by positive early experiences and is most receptive while the neural pathways are still flexible before the age of approximately eight years old. Piggie Bear’s story is not one to be read once and put aside. Used on a daily basis, Piggie Bear’s simple yet powerful teachings can build resilience and will start to feel so natural that eventually children will turn to these coping skills on their own. You may need to reach out for professional help for your child, depending on the nature of his or her particular struggle, but creating some special Piggie Bear time together is an excellent bonding, learning and healing experience. Piggie Bear’s Main Teaching Points It is OK to be different. You are amazing just the way you are. Deep, mindful belly breathing can help you feel calmer and more incontrol. Love yourself unconditionally and give yourself a huge hug every day.  Shark Tank Fidgeter Comes Up Golden
Oct 20th, 2017 by Jane Noble The other evening I was sitting watching Shark Tank when a particularly interesting pitch came on. It wasn’t just the product that was fascinating, but also the entrepreneur introducing it. His name is Jason “Fidgetman” Burns and his company is called Fidget Land. It sounds like the place most of us live! Jason was seeking $49,000 for 10% stake in his company. Helps ADHD and Anxiety. It turns out that Jason suffers from ADHD and constantly needs to keeps his hands busy or his leg bouncing or his toes tapping just to stay focussed. Jason wanted to find a way of calming himself that was more discreet. To that end he has created a range of fidgets that look like small metal puzzles and consist of a series of rings, rubber bands and small chain links that twirl and spin. Fidget Land claims that its customers have had success using its fidgets to overcome or cope with symptoms associated with ADD, ADHD, learning disabilities, sensory integration, anxiety, autism, nail biting, thumb sucking, hair twirling, trichotillomania, stress and more. Robert HerjavecIt turns out that many of the Sharks have some sort of learning disability or mental challenge. Robert Herjavec, was referred to as hyperactive when he was young and frequently bounces his leg to stay focussed. He found the fidget very soothing and made Jason an offer. Mr. WonderfulKevin O’Leary, a.k.a. “Mr. Wonderful,” was diagnosed with dyslexia when he was six. As a young schoolboy in Montreal, the Canadian financial guru was good with numbers but couldn’t read. O’Leary’s therapists helped him believe in himself again in a very unusual way: by convincing him to think of himself as a “mutant with superpowers.” This gave him back the only thing he says he really needed: confidence. Positive reinforcement can be hugely beneficial. Our first book, “The Power of Piggie Bear” tells children they are amazing just the way they are. If you say to yourself “I am amazing” often enough, you will start to believe it and confidence will build. WIth confidence, you can achieve anything! Daymond John Shark Daymond John is also dyslexic. He started selling handmade wool hats on the streets of Hollis, Queens and rose to debuting his own label in the fashion houses of Manhattan. None of this success would have been possible had he let his dyslexia define him. Barbara Corcoran: Barbara Corcoran, a highly successful real estate mogul, made an offer of $50,000 for 20% of Fidgetland, which was accepted by Jason Burns. Barbara has been very open about her own learning disabilities. Like Kevin and Daymond, she also suffers from the word processing disorder and says she was lousy at school and a straight D student! Barbara only realized she had dyslexia when her son Tom was diagnosed in second grade. He is now in his third year at Columbia University. Barbara has an adopted 7 year old daughter who also experiences learning difficulties. Overcoming mental challenges seems to have made these Sharks stronger and more determined to achieve incredible success. Recognizing the Gifts Barbara is a champion for anyone with mental challenges and recognizes the gifts that can often accompany mental health issues. Many of the successful entrepreneurs she has invested in have overcome mental health challenges to become more flexible and willing to fight in life and in business. Feel Free to Fidget AnywhereFidget Land creates fidgets for adults and a smaller version for children. The fidgets are quiet and will not disturb colleagues or classmates. They can be used in the boardroom or in the classroom to absorb excess energy and help maintain focus. https://www.fidgetland.com/  There Is An Urgent Need To Help Our Young
Sep 2nd, 2017 by Mara James It’s amazing how one’s life can be turned around in an instant. Never in a million years would I have thought that I would experience a manic episode and be diagnosed with bipolar disorder, especially at the age of 48! Things that I was encountering were crazy, but my mind was crystal clear! On that day, I stepped into the world of mental illness and I will never be the same again. However, I mean this in a good way. My husband Kenneth and I have a son who was been diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome and ADHD, so mental illness was not new to us. My mother also had bipolar disorder but I was still shocked when this illness came and sought me out and engulfed my life. There is no way I would have got through my crisis without medication initially, but as I started coming out of the fog, I knew that I did not want to stay medicated for the rest of my life. But what were the alternatives? Where should I turn? I started to seek out holistic healing therapies and thanks to the many gifted healers who were sent my way, I am now off all of my medication. It has not been an easy path, but it has been an enlightening one. I used to refer to May 2014 as my manic month of May but now I call it my magical month of May as it has opened my eyes to the need to change the way mental health challenges are viewed. I started the Extraordinary Lives Foundation to bring awareness to mental health and wellness with a focus on children and to provide support and resources for parents of children experiencing mental health challenges. If we can help young children deal with fear, stress and anxiety, hopefully we can help prevent them from self-medicating with drugs and alcohol when they grow older. WOW The Wonder Of Women
May 8th, 2018 by Jane Noble WOW is the perfect acronym for The Wonder of Women Summit that was held on May 2, 2018 in Los Angeles on the UCLA campus. WOW seemed the perfect response when looking at some of the most successful and influential women of our time coming together to unite in their common goal of promoting a better understanding, awareness and treatment of mental illness in our society. There was a huge amount of talent in one place with featured speakers including Tipper Gore, Lisa Kudrow, Goldie Hawn, Candice Bergen, Dr. Robin Berman, Susan Bookheimer Ph.D., Poppy Jamie and psychic medium Amanda Daniels to name just a few. The full speaker list and more details about the event can be found at https://www.semel.ucla.edu/wow/ Mara James, founder of ELF had the opportunity to chat with Tipper Gore about their common commitment to changing lives for the better. Tipper is a tireless advocate for homelessness and issues of mental health. She is committed to eradicating the stigma and educating Americans on the need for quality, affordable mental health care. During her husband’s tenure as Vice President, she served as the Mental Health Policy Advisor to President Clinton. A genuine trailblazer, Tipper chaired the first White House Conference on Mental Health in 1999 that interactively involved tens of thousands of Americans across the country. She is innovative and courageous, always seeking new ways to raise awareness and promote action. What was so inspiring about the conference was the powerful message that the way we we approach mental health has to change and the determination of these extraordinary women to make it happen. ELF Goes National!
May 16th, 2018 by Mara James Wow! It is hard to believe that this is our second year hosting Mental Health Awareness Events at MLB stadiums and we have already gone national! This was not part of the original plan but when I received notification of a suicide in New York and another one in Atlanta, I felt compelled to take action. I have family and friends in both locations so knew we could make something happen. I got on the phone with the NY Yankees and Atlanta Braves and they were both on board with helping up host an event. We were at SunTrust Park on May 4th and Yankee Stadium on May 6. The energy at both stadiums was amazing! There were only 50 of us at each game, but our enthusiasm made up for numbers and I know that we made a BIG impact in bringing awareness to May as National Mental Health Awareness Month. You couldn’t miss us with with our large, fun sponge hands along with our neon green ELF hats. I owe my hubby a big thank you for all of his support in my endeavors and for being the BEST high-fiver I could ever ask for. I would also like to thank our sponsors and my friends for donating to my birthday fundraiser which paid for at-risk children and their families to attend our events. CHOC and ELF Go For A Home Run
May 20th, 2018 by Jane Noble It is always so satisfying when you plan for months for an event and it all turns out so well on the day. Many months ago, CHOC Children’s decided to collaborate with ELF to highlight May as Mental Health Awareness Month at the Twins v. Angels game that took place last Saturday evening, May 12 at Angel Stadium. ELF is thrilled that CHOC is leading the way in recognizing that children’s mental health is as important as their physical health. There is no health without mental health. The day before the game, the wind was whipping up, clouds were hurrying across the sky and much needed rain was watering our gardens. Great, but not what you want for an outdoor event! Saturday could not have been better. The sun shone, families smiled and children laughed. Before the game, it was Angels Fiesta time in the parking lot under the Big A, with mariachi bands sending out strains of salsa that your hips couldn’t resist swaying to. ELF committee members and representatives from CHOC set up shop under a turquoise E-Z Up to welcome guests. Some supporters had purchased their tickets. Other tickets were donated to families at-risk. The message from everyone was as loud and clear as the bright green of our T shirts and sponge hands that popped against the red of the Angels’ fans. High Five for Mental Health! Away with the stigma! We are all in this together! Everyone was having fun high fiving anyone who crossed their path. The event took place on the day before Mother’s Day and it was wonderful to see so many families with young children and teenagers at the game. You could spot the ELF/CHOC squad from anywhere in the stadium, neon shirts and hats aglow. The only thing that would have improved the evening was a win by the Angels who unfortunately lost to the Minnesota Twins 5:3 in the 12th. Heads Together: The Duke Of Cambridge Launches 'Mental Health At Work'
Sep 11th, 2018 by Jane Noble In partnership with the mental health charity, Mind, Heads Together and The Royal Foundation have launched a new online platform, Mental Health at Work, which brings together a wealth of resources, training and information to help people make their life better at work - for themselves, and for their colleagues. No matter the size of your workplace, and no matter where you work, mental health is essential to our daily well being. Mental Health at Work aims to change the way the workplace approaches mental health and eliminate the stigma that accompanies admitting all is not well. It is fantastic that The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, and The Duke of Sussex are highlighting this important subject. Taking care of mental health at work makes sound business sense. It means taking care of a company’s most valuable asset - people - so that they are happy and perform at their best. Having motivated employees is a win-win for employers and customers. It is important to be observant as to how people express their stress and then have sensitive conversations and take appropriate action to ease the situation without fear of discrimination. Staying Sane During The Holidays
Dec 11th, 2018 by Jane Noble The Foundation is delighted that CBS News turned to ELF founder, Mara James, to share some tips and advice on how to navigate the holiday season. It is not easy staying sane during the holiday period. It becomes even more difficult for people who have mental health issues. What should be a joyful and exciting time can easily become stressful and filled with anxiety. Piggie Bear was created to help children manage their emotions, yet we as adults can also benefit from Piggie Bear’s teachings. Emotions can be calmed and controlled through deep, belly breathing. If you feel your emotions racing out of control, just take yourself to a quiet place and breathe deeply for 5 minutes. For anyone feel a little sad and lonely, Piggie Bear teaches us to love ourselves and give ourselves a huge hug. Holding that hug can release oxytocin which helps fight off depression. As parents it is important to remember that children are like sponges when it comes to absorbing other people’s emotions. The calmer and happier the parents are, the calmer and more contented the children. Mara reminds everyone that it is more important to spend quality time with family and friends. If sending holiday cards is causing anxiety, then don’t send then. Simplify your life and focus on what is most important. Mar 14th, 2019 by Jane NobleOn Wednesday, February 27, 2019, laughter rang around the Irvine Improv at our first annual Comedy Night entitled Let Laughter Shed Light. Mental illness is no laughing matter, yet love and laughter enable us all to cope better with what life throws at us. There was a wonderful sense of camaraderie at the event and a true feeling that we are all in this together.
The fun started with guests being enthusiastically greeted by a life size Piggie Bear and volunteers dressed in black with a touch of green to represent mental health. Barely a person passed up the opportunity to pose for a photo with Piggie Bear. Silent Auction Once inside, there was a buzz of activity and anticipation as guests perused the many fabulous items on offer in the Silent Auction. There were gifts certificates for yoga, gym memberships, restaurants, the Lakers, singing lessons, golf lessons and massage, as well as for the many wonderful healers that ELF is connected to. The tables were laden with stunning fine jewelry, bubbly and bath products, perfumes, Scotch & chocs to name but a few. The Pre-showYoung performers from the Center Stage Studio warmed up the audience as they shared their talent for singing and dancing in lively routines. Joe Grande, master of ceremonies extraordinaire kept the pace moving with his own inimitable style and good humor. The ComediansStand up comedy is not an easy discipline but these professionals had the audience eating out of their hands. First up was Mary Kennedy, best known for “New Fiona” on Shameless, Conan and being a regular at the Laugh Factory in Los Angeles. Mary is hilariously self deprecating as she made fun of her post baby body and had every woman in the room nodding helplessly in agreement. Eric Deskin has an edgy, observant brand of humor and the audience lapped up his East Coast take on California. At one point in his life Eric was a lawyer and while rumors of his disbarment have been grossly exaggerated, he advised the audience to ask him for legal advice at their own peril! Francis DiLorenzo is tall and slender and a magnificent physical comedienne. The laughter built as she told tales of dating shorter men. My personal favorite was her impersonation of her 6’3” son and his similarity to an air filled dancing balloon man. Hilarious! You can see why next up Justine Marino was selected as the New Face of Comedy at Montreal’s prestigious Just for Laughs Festival and laugh we did. Who else do you know who fantasizes about having a Jurassic Park wedding? “I dino…” To close out the evening Sam Fedele made sure that our jaws ached from laughing. Sam developed his high-energy style of comedy growing up in the mean streets of New Jersey. He spent six years honing his skills in the United States Marine Corps, after which neither Sam nor the Marine Corps would ever be the same again. ELF sends out a huge thank you to all the fabulous entertainers for sharing their talents and shedding light on mental health. The entertainers, guests and volunteers made the evening a spectacular success. He expresses his fears and feelings on mental health and recounts how experiencing his wife’s personal struggle has made him more understanding and compassionate. “May is Mental Health Awareness month. Five years ago this month my life turned upside down. When I was in medical school, I spent 2 months doing a psychiatric rotation at a V.A. Hospital. This was a requirement. I had no interest in psychiatry and honestly never even thought about mental health disorders before medical school, especially during the first 2 years of school. Sure, I learned about the disorders, neurological pathways, possible causes and pharmacologic treatments but I thought of it as a fiction novel not real disorders that happen to real people. My rotation was during a frigid winter at the V.A. Hospital in Chicago. We were introduced to the in-patient ward staff, instructed on areas to go to and avoid and then assigned our patients to follow. I remember sitting in my first interview with an inpatient. When I arrived at the physician’s consultation room, the patient was already there sitting opposite the doctor. The patient had schizophrenia and was heavily medicated. He seemed harmless, cooperative and sedated. The session lasted 30 minutes with lots of questions about his medical progress, relationship with other patients, satisfaction with his accommodations and goals to accomplish. When we were done, I stood up to say goodbye and open the door for him. When he stood up, I realized he was over 6 feet 10 inches tall and towered over me like a giant. I immediately went into fight or flight mode. I started sweating, was anxious, nervous, fearful and terrified all at the same time. I felt threatened that he was going to lash out at me. There was no basis for this fear. This was a fantasy I immediately fabricated in my mind from watching too many horror movies in the 70’s. He politely grunted goodbye and was escorted back to the common area by a hospital orderly. It was at this exact moment that I realized I would either fear these patients or learn compassion. I chose fear. As the rotation continued, I found myself (and my fellow students) spending more time in the V.A. gymnasium playing basketball than seeing patients. We would study diseases and treatments over breakfast, then play hoops for 2 hours, then lunch and home. I knew the names of all the diseases, symptoms, possible causes and treatment options; I just couldn’t put a face to each disorder because I was afraid of being with people who were psychologically different, diseased or afflicted. Bipolar, schizophrenia, multiple personality disorders and PTSD were cool to talk about and learn the medications that control the symptoms, but to see a person express these disorders live frightened me. Therefore, I avoided patient care for the remainder of my rotation. Sad, but true. My experience in medical school, where it was a requirement to see and interact with psychiatric patients is not that different from any of us who interact with friends, family, neighbors, work mates or strangers who have similar emotional or diagnosed psychiatric conditions. At first it is frightening and uncomfortable. How can someone be there physically but not there mentally or emotionally? It takes time to adjust to and tolerate people with mania, narcissism, or dissociative behavior and to see the real person underneath the disorder. In May of 2014, my wife Mara of over 20 years experienced a manic episode. Looking back, I should have seen it coming like a dark rain cloud before the storm but mostly I just accepted her increasingly bizarre behavior as eccentric. She always had a type A, outgoing and friendly personality. She has always had a lot of friends, been extremely cordial to everyone and made everyone in her presence feel loved and wanted. As her mania slowly progressed, I noticed that many of her friends were not around. Maybe they were growing weary of her changing personality and possibly frightened by her overly talkative behavior and odd mannerisms. Her obsessions with objects, people, and certain situations were bordering on psychiatric and then BAM! I was away the weekend of May 23, 2014 with my parents and brother at a retreat in Colorado. It was one of the few times I had gone away without her. The first night I was gone, she reached the pinnacle of her disease and by the next day I was on a plane home. At 8 pm we embraced. I didn’t want to let her go because I would then have to make some very difficult decisions. With the help of a dear friend who is a psychologist, we decided that she should see her psychologist and a psychiatrist the next day and we would hopefully be able to keep her from being admitted to an inpatient setting. Luckily, with the help of her providers, she was started on medication and started to heal. Over the next 6 months she underwent her own type of transformation. As she proclaims: ‘I went from medication to meditation’. She finished a short course of medications and therapy and then started alternative treatments. Between hypnotherapy, crystals, shamans, yoga, meditation and religious counseling she was transformed. She is back and better than ever! Mara took her experience and decided to help others. She started a mental health awareness foundation called Extraordinary Lives Foundation (ELF) in 2016. The mission of the foundation is to raise awareness around mental health issues concentrating on children and adolescent youth. Her belief is that mental health issues begin in adolescence and worsen over time if not recognized and treated. She has run several awareness events in our community and around the country and is currently promoting awareness at several Major League baseball stadiums throughout the nation. ELF volunteers get people actively involved in spreading the word that May is mental health awareness month by hi-fiving everyone admitted to the stadium with large foam hands. I remember the first game we attended down with the San Diego Padres. The volunteers were nervous and anxious about how to spread the word. I picked up 2 large foam hands and just started hi-fiving everyone I saw. This became contagious. At the Angels game 2 weeks later, I counted over 10, 000 fans I slapped hands with and over a dozen who made contributions to our foundation. Last year we went to Atlanta and New York and this year Mara is hitting all 5 California Major League stadiums and a minor league stadium in Sacramento. Eventually the goal is to make May as visible as October is for Breast Cancer awareness. Imagine an annual mental health awareness day at every stadium where players dress in green to represent mental health. Wouldn’t that be amazing? Mara has attended several city council committee meetings all over Orange County. Through her efforts several cities have declared May as National Mental Health Awareness Month. This is another step towards helping people recognize that the mental health of the nation is a national emergency and that funding is vitally needed to give sufferers the help they need. Mara has written and self-published a children’s book: The Power of Piggie Bear. This is a wonderful, fun and informative book which teaches children (and adults) how to recognize their emotions and then how to control them through 2 simple exercises. First: deep belly breathing (yoga style) and second: a self-hug releasing natural good feeling chemicals through your body. This really works. Like exercise, if you do it every day, you will see a difference. Mara has donated books to all our local elementary and middle schools. As you can tell, this is a very personal and important topic for me. I encourage an open dialog with my patients andI discuss and offer help when needed. recommend therapy with psychologists, psychiatrists, hypnotherapists, alternative healers, clergy: anyone or any approach that they choose. Many of my patients are surprised when I ask about multiple alternative topics to routine obstetrics and gynecology. Topics including family life, sex, work and of course their own well emotional well-being. If you don’t ask , you will not know and if you don’t know, you can never help guide others to heal. Please speak out. Ask for help. Recognize that others are suffering and offer help. This is our obligation as both healers and human beings. “  May 19th, 2019 by Jane Noble
The first few months of a child’s life can have an influence on its future mental health. The baby/mother bond begins as soon as the embryo starts to develop in the womb. The baby experiences life through the mama, hearing the sounds of her body and the steady beat of her heart. By about 26 weeks, the baby starts to react to noises outside the mother’s body and may be soothed by her voice. Fathers and siblings may start the bonding process in many simple ways - talking and singing to the baby, massaging the mother’s belly, feeling the baby kicking. But there is nothing quite like the moment when the baby enters the world and becomes a tangible part of the family. The first few weeks and months of a newborn’s life are crucial and can have an influence on the child’s future mental wellbeing. Too often parents do not have have enough time to fully bond and adjust to life with their new addition before having to go back to work. On May 16, 2019, Governor Gavin Newsom convened a Paid Family Leave Task Force for their first in a series of meetings. The Task Force is intended to design a policy and funding roadmap to achieving the Governor’s vision for providing all California newborns with six months of bonding time with their parents. Erin Gabel, Deputy Director of External and Governmental Affairs for First 5 California, was appointed to the newly-established Paid Family Leave Task Force. Erin sees Paid Family Leave during those vitally important first months of a baby’s life, as a developmental necessity. Governor Newsom has appointed a diverse group of representatives from across the state, including members of the business, legal, policy, science, and early learning communities, to put their collective expertise together and design real options to meet the family leave needs of newborns, employers, employees, and their families. The Governor’s goal is to leverage Paid Family Leave to reap greater lifetime benefits for all. The Task Force will examine California’s nation-leading Paid Family Leave Program and develop options to increase leave access, provide better job protections, and to expand the length of coverage for California’s workers. Studies have shown that paid family leave allows parents and caregivers to bond with their newborns, and set our littlest community members on a course for better health and greater success in life. “Having a Governor who understands the brain science and how Paid Family Leave plays a role in allowing parents the precious time to Talk. Read. Sing. ®with their babies, is a once in a lifetime opportunity,” said Ms. Gabel. “Children and families thriving will help lift all of Californians.” The Task Force is due to provide its recommendations to the Governor by the end of 2019. Jun 17th, 2019 by Jane Noble
A new study in the journal Child Development shows that nighttime use of a cell phone can increase anxiety and depression in teenagers and reduce their self esteem. Although as a parent you may have suspected this, this is the first study that shows a direct link between screen time and mental health. Rates of depression in teenagers have risen over 70% in the last two decades and even in Orange County we have seen a disconcerting number of suicides by young people. Sleep is essential for children and teenagers who need 9 hours of sleep per night. Yes - 9 hours. Very difficult to achieve given the early school start times, homework and after school activities and the pressure to achieve and excel. Layer on top of that the fact that, as this new study demonstrates, screen time before bed can seriously disrupt sleep patterns and it is likely that most teenagers are sleep deprived. Lack of sleep can lead to depression, emotional fragility and acting out. The study shows that even if kids are having a great time on their phone, if it disrupts their sleep pattern, then it causes harm. So how can we as parents make sure that our children are not using their phones just before sleep? A difficult proposition given that 50% of teenagers report feeling addicted to their phones and reasoning with teenagers is never easy. Psychologist Lisa Damour offers some practical solutions that offer a starting point. 1. Setting phone boundaries while your children are still young will help with the battle as they get older. Establish good family habits and be a good role model to your children. It is no use telling your children to turn off their phones and limit usage if you as a parent are overusing yours. 2. Set a central location in the home where all the phones are charged. It may have to be in the parents’ bedroom so your teenagers can’t access their phones after a certain time, though it is not ideal to have any electronic devices in the sleep area. 3. At the risk of being really unpopular, a digital curfew is essential. Make the curfew universal for everyone in the household. Like most habits, it takes time to establish them, but then they become the norm. 4. Explain to your teenager that it is your duty as a parent to protect them in the same way as you insist they put on a seat belt before driving in the car, or wearing a helmet while riding a bike. 5. Make sure that technology and social media do not interfere with the things that promote good health: sleep (9+ hours), personal interaction, physical activity, opportunities to learn and grow. |
